Q: What's happening here?
A: We made an app that's mean to you when you run or walk. It gives you fun facts too - but that's for the liberals.
Q: How am I supposed to feel about this?
A: I don't know? I'm supposed to tell you how to feel now? Like, Jesus Christ. Why are you even still talking to me and not downloading the app? It's free AF. What's the hold up?
Q: Is this real?
A: As real as your parents' relationship. Unless they've already divorced, in which case, yes, this is real.
Q: How mean can the app get?
A: Pretty mean. But no worries fragile snowflake, we also have a setting that gives you fun trivia for the weak.
Q: What does it do?
A: Nothing really important. You walk and run. We track that activity and say messed up things to you.
Q: Is there some sort of deeper meaning or purpose to the app?